


Close to Home

by bernolli



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Slavery, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Past Abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-09-11
Updated: 2013-12-19
Packaged: 2017-12-26 08:35:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 11,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/963860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bernolli/pseuds/bernolli
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Honorable discharged Capitain John Watson is given a gift from government, a bed slave. <br/>Something about this brunette intrigued him, he decided to take him home.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: English is not my mother tongue and I am rubbish at grammar.

Staff A in Dispatch Center  
 **Staff B in Dispatch Center**

“He is useless. Next time he is been sent back, we send him to pleasure house.” 

**“Well, I have never seen a slave like this, it’s like he never knows his place even he was punished so harshly, he is still the same old way.”**

“Unbelievable, his last master almost whipped him to death. He is lucky the stupid government has implemented the new law to forbid masters casually put down their possessions, otherwise he will be dead for hundreds times.”

 **“Such an annoying thing. What are we gonna do about him?”**

**Next Day**

“Good news. Government orders saying those honorably discharged officers get to be given one of our slaves.”

 **“So？Oh..nice touch. A military man with firm hand probably know s how to deal with him”**

“But we still have to give the officer at least three slaves to choose from. I wonder whether the miracle would actually happen, you know.”

 **“Then we have to pray harder. Although I don’t like that thing, I do hate send him to the pleasure house.”**

On the way to the dispatch center, Captain John Watson thought he hasn’t owned a slave for almost a decade. His family used to have several house slaves but this time it seemed that he is given a bed slave. He knew those rich families usually have house slave, labor slave and bed slave. He doesn’t feel like wanting one. He held himself well even in the army. He is here only because he has nothing better to do. Government’s gift, brilliant.

Three slaves were presented before him. Two male, one female, all naked kneeling on the ground, chains around their ankles. He eyed them carefully. The blonde from the left looked terrified but she was in relatively good shape than the two male beside her. The middle one was a young boy with red hair who seemed too timid to breathe. The brunette from the right somehow seemed didn’t care whether he will be picked or not. He was too skinny and gaunt with scabs caused by severe lashing on the back. Some of the marks were quite new. Something about him intrigued John, he couldn’t tell but he just felt it. 

“This one.”He pointed to the brunette.  
The two staff exchanged a look and one of them said, “He is a handful, Sir. I have to warn you in the first place. You are free to return him within the first month.”  
John looked curious, “What will happen to him if I return him?”  
“Depends, but as most cases, he will be sent to the pleasure house, Sir.”  
“Then such thing must not happen.” Hearing the words, the brunette twitched a bit.  
John reached out to tip his chin up, greeted by a pair of palest eyes he ever seen, “ Beautiful. now, get up ,little thing, we are going home.”


	2. Chapter 2

“I’ll run you a bath to get you clean and warm. Wait here.” 

Standing in the middle of living room, the brunette looked lost and puzzled, “Yes, sir.” That’s all he could manage. His new master is running him a bath? Shouldn’t he just push him into the bathroom and splash cold water all over his body to make him shiver like his old master?

“All done. Get in here.”John emerged from bathroom several minutes later and he remembered he hadn’t asked the slave’s name if he still has one, “What’s your name, little thing?”

“Whatever you wish, Sir.” The brunette slave bowed his head, “My ID number is 018476.”

“Were you born a slave?” 

“No, sir. I was sold to slavery at 10.” A warm hand cupped his chin.

“So you used to have a family?”

“No, sir. I was brought up in orphanage.”

“What was your given name?”

“Sherlock, sir.” 

John grinned to him, “Good, then I shall call you Sherlock. By the way, I am John Watson. You can call me John or Captain. I want something personal. Sir or master sounds too mundane.”

“Yes, Captain.” Sherlock’s face remained blank and John almost missed a flicker in Sherlock’s eyes. This is the first time someone asked for his name since he was sold to slavery. He was called various names by his old masters, bitch, cunt, filthy slut, fuck meat, cock warmer. He missed his real name so much.

After the bath, John directed the brunette to his bedroom. Sherlock shuddered at his memory, secretly hope John won’t be too rough at first time. He won’t be rough. He is a kind master. He was a doctor, a military doctor, judging by the callus of his hand, a surgeon then. He saves lives.

“Lie down and roll over.” John pointed to his bed. The brunette obeyed his orders.

Sherlock is severely injured, all those wounds need to be disinfected and given at lease a couple of weeks to heal. John took out his first-aid kit, fumbling for antiphlogistin. He smeared some of the medicine over Sherlock’s back, the body beneath his hand was tightened, but soon relaxed. John is pleased with their progress. After taking care of Sherlock’s back, he washed his hands and began to examine the private part of Sherlock. Sherlock is a bed slave, his previous masters seemed quite merciless towards him based on his current state. 

His genital quietly lying between his legs, Sherlock felt John’s gentle hands on it for a while and left. He is expected to serve his new master tonight, he thought, he better be good and he probably will never had a second chance with a nice master like John. He has to make John like him. He doesn’t care been put down but the pleasure house is unbearable. If he has to die, he’d wish it was a clean shot.

John parted his cheeks to check tears and cuts, a few, but not as bad as John thought. Later John applied some lube on his fingers, gently slide one into Sherlock’s entrance. That’s when John realized something was awfully wrong. Sherlock couldn’t stifle a whimper and tried his best not to tremble. John quickly withdrew his finger, “Talk to me, Sherlock.”

“Please don’t send me back, master..Captain, Please don’t,” He pleaded in a cracked voice, “ I am not broken, I will be useful in a few days, please.” Tears were watering his eyes. He looked so terrified.

“I am not sending you back, Sherlock. I want to know what your old master did to you. You are in pain and I don’t see any cuts could cause that.” John signed and comforted him by stoking his hair.

“Needles. ” Sherlock muttered. His last master was a sadist, he loved to hear Sherlock cry of pain.  
Those needles he stunk into him getting bigger and more painful everyday. He passed out one day during the play and was tossed out to the dispatch center.  
“What are you good for? Useless filthy hole.” That was his old master’s last word said to him.

John gritted his teeth, if he met Sherlock’s old master by any chance, he would kill him. 

“Please don’t send me back, Captain. I apologize for my used status. I promise I will service you good…just…”

“Ssh...easy ”John put a finger on his lips, crooned,“ don’t panic, Sherly.” He hold Sherlock’s head against his chest, wiped his tears and planted a soft kiss on his temple, “ you are safe here with me. You are mine. They can’t hurt you anymore. “


	3. Chapter 3

Finally Sherlock went back to himself in John’s arms. He whispered, ”Thank you, Captain.”   
“You are tired, now go to sleep. I need to take a bath and be back in a while.” Surprisingly, John found his brunette slave won’t let go, his hands tugged firmly on his jumper, “Trust me.” He planted another kiss on the brunette’s forehead. 

When John came back, wrapped in robe, found his bed empty. Sherlock was no longer there. Where did he go?   
“Sherl-“, Jesus, he tripped over something on the floor. It was Sherlock.  
“Why are you sleeping on the floor, Sherly?”  
“Slaves aren’t allowed to sleep in master’s bed, or they should get punished, Captain.” He said evenly.  
“Nonsense. Get back to the bed. You are under my roof, you are living by my rules and my bed partner doesn’t sleep on the floor. “ John climbed on the bed and patted the other side,” Come here.”

Sherlock’s heart throbbed at John’s words, feeling a stream of warmth washing over his body. He didn’t know how to repay his master’s kindness. He climbed under the duvet, stayed as still as he could until John turned off the lights.

John was a light sleeper, in the middle night, he heard whimper and later scream around his ears. He got up immediately, turned on the lights. Sherlock was shivering like a leaf in the wind, “ Please..no more needles, master, please…”

“Sherly, wake up, Sherly, it’s me. It’s John.” John grabbed Sherlock’s shoulder, rocking him without too much strength. 

Sherlock snap opened his eyes, wide with fear, where is he, oh, he is at Captain’s home, he is with Captain John, he is safe. But, but he didn’t service his new master tonight. What if Captain John stopped being a generous man in the morning? What if Captain John finds out his nature and returns him tomorrow? How stupid is he. He could at least use his mouth to do the job even if the Captain didn’t order him to. 

“Sherly, are you okay?” John asked in concern, stroking his damp hair.

“Yes, Captain.” Sherlock moved a little closer to John’s side. Being close to John makes him comfortable. If this is a dream, please let him dream a little bit longer. He could face any consequence in the morning.


	4. Chapter 4

“Morning.”

Sherlock was greeted by a shining smile. That was something new in his life. He usually woke up early because his master needed to use him to deal with their morning erection. 

Ah, he remembered he didn’t perform his duty last night. He surely wouldn’t make the same mistake again. He went down to John’s manhood, stiff and thick. He took it into his mouth, sucking it intensely. John couldn’t believe what Sherlock was doing. Was he giving him a blowjob? He didn’t order him to do anything. Startled, he pushed Sherlock away.

Hurt, he saw hurt in Sherlock’s eyes. He wasn’t meant to reject him. 

_He didn’t want me. He thought I was filthy._  
His heart sank down like a stone. Sherlock climbed down from the bed and knelt beside it silently, waiting for his punishment. 

John could only hold his breath in his throat. The ivory skin exposed in front of him made him hard instantly. Sherlock is stunning, absolutely beautiful. 

“Why did you do that, Sherly?” John tried not to be intimidating.

“I made a mistake, please forgive me, Captain.” His eyes were down to floor. He saw John had a cane in the corner, which might be the tool John would use to punish him. He heard John get up, walking towards him. 

“Did your old masters make you do this for them?” John asked in a soft voice.

“Yes, Captain. I presumed you have the same needs and clearly I was wrong. So please punish me with your cane and you could consider send this useless slave back to dispatch center.” Sherlock said coldly.

That’s it. Sweet dream is over. No master will tolerate an irritated slave like him. That’s when his previous masters flew into rage, whipped him to half death and sold him.

“God, I scared you, didn’t I?” John covered his face with one hand.

“Scared?” Sherlock was shocked. How come he was scared? Obviously he was just being incredibly rude to his master.

“I am sorry I scared you. I shouldn’t push you away.” Leaning forward, John pulled Sherlock rest against his body, “I guess I am just surprised and overreacted.”

“You didn’t think I am filthy, dirty?” Sherlock questioned him in disbelief.

“Oh, Sherly, I nearly jumped on you seeing sunshine casting over you.” John stroked his hair, “Do you know how beautiful you are?”

Buried his face in John’s robe, Sherlock shook his head, “I am not beautiful. They say I am a dirty slut, worthless to look at.”

“Screw them.” John petted his head.

“May I continue, Captain?” He said tentatively, pressing his face against John’s hardness,” I want to be good for you.”

“You are good for me.” Signed internally, he sat on the edge of their bed, let Sherlock work his magic between his legs. That was not his initial thoughts but after seeing how upset Sherlock was, he changed his mind. Sherlock was a bed slave, if he didn’t let him do this, he probably thought he would abandon him and be honest, he is drawn to Sherlock at first sight, it would be a lie that he didn’t desire his body. 

He came in the brunette’s mouth and he swallowed every drop.  
“That was amazing.” John let out a breath, stroking Sherlock’s face.  
Sherlock’s eyes lit up with delight, finally, he had proven he could be some use for John.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Won't be able to update this weekend. So hope you enjoy this chap.


	5. Chapter 5

Sherlock didn’t have a collar. Every slave knew what that meant. He used to have a thick leather one tightly around his neck but that was taken away in the dispatch center. John didn’t put a new one on him. 

_He was just invalid from abroad and he didn’t own a slave for a long time. He would collar me soon. He would._

Beep. John checked out his mobile and turned to Sherlock, “I’ve got to go out. If you need anything, just call the landlady Mrs. Hudson downstairs.”

Sherlock nodded, “Yes, Captain.” He didn’t want John to leave. He didn’t want to be left alone. But he said nothing just nodded obediently. 

John sensed his sadness, ruffled his hair fondly, “I won’t be long, promise.” He pecked a quick kiss on Sherlock’s cheek then left in a dash.

Sherlock’s eyes clung on to the closed door, unconsciously touching his face. He had no idea how to explain his feelings right now. What was that? Was he happy? Was a damaged slave be able to feel that? And worse, he had already started missing John.

St. Barts  
“Hello, Mike.” John waved to Mike Stamford across the hall.  
“John！Come over here. I’ve got some good news for you.” Mike sounded excited.  
“I am all ears.” John smiled.  
“I have a friend Sarah, she runs a small clinic. She is in desperate need for some skillful hand like you now. I wonder whether you will be interested.” Mike said with a big expecting smile.  
“Is she hot?” John joked.  
“Hot enough to get me.”Mike made a face.  
“Then I see no reason to put this off.” John chuckled, ”When do I start?”  
“ As soon as possible. She is in short of hands. I will give you her number. Tomorrow might be best timing. “  
John chatted with Mike for about an hour. He left in a good mood.

On his way home, John thought he could bring something home for celebration. He should get some new clothes for Sherlock and some delicious food to feed the little poor thing. He is way too skinny, no doubt a result of malnutrition. 

So there he was. Left hand with Chinese dumplings, right hand with Italian food and a bag full of clothes. 

“You got a new job, Captain.” Sherlock beamed at John.

“How did you know that?” Putting away his carryings, John tilted his head, intrigued.

“You were reading bills this morning and you smell like hospital, you are not sick and people didn’t go to hospital visit patients that early. You were a military doctor, I’d say you went to an old friend. What for? You were honorably discharged not for long, most likely, your friend did you a favor to land a job for you and since you are humming, congratulations, Captain.” Sherlock bit his lips nervously after realize what he just blunt about. He couldn’t help it. Please don’t get angry with me, Captain.

“Wow,” John blinked at Sherlock, “that was just..Wow. Well done, Sherly, quite extraordinary.” 

“You think so, Captain?” _You are not offended? You won’t think this is a trick? You won’t lash me? You won’t shove your cock into mouth and tell me to shut up the nonsense?_

“Of course it’s extraordinary. My Sherly is smart.” John smiled warmly, “I’ve got dumplings and lasagna. Which one do you prefer?”  
“ I don’t have a preference, Captain.” Food never interested him. As a bed slave, been fed well only meant they had served their master well. Obviously he was never master’s favorite. He was used to starvation.  
“How about trying both?”John divided the food into half and half.  
“Anyway you wish, Captain.” 

It turned out Sherlock was a Dumpling fan. He finished his plate sooner before John did and hesitated whether he should go on with the lasagna. John was amused by his facial expression, hand fed Sherlock with the last dumpling he had on his plate. Sherlock took it reluctantly and sucked John’s finger tip to wipe out the oil.  
“You naughty thing.” John chuckled and thought he might hand feed Sherlock more often just to get him behave like a cute kitten.  
Sherlock blushed a little.

After the meal, John took out the bag, laying out all the clothes he bought for Sherlock. Two sets of pajamas, two shirts and two pairs of trousers. Apparently although it was lovely to see Sherlock dressed in his clothes, Sherlock was taller than him, he needed new clothes.

“Try them on. Hope them will fit.” John encouraged.  
Sherlock undressed himself in front of John, he was used to be naked in front of his master. John averted his eyes to the fireplace, suppressing the urge to feel up Sherlock. He didn’t want to rush into anything, no matter how tempting Sherlock was. Nothing escaped Sherlock’s observation. 

In his past days, food usually comes after brutal sex he had with his master. Clothes were luxury, bed slaves should always be ready.

John was so generous and he liked him. Though his orifice still hurts from the cruel needle penetration, it would worth it to take John inside. 

He stepped up and knelt, “Please take me, Captain.”  
Not wanting to make the same mistake, John pulled him up to sit on his lap, “Not now, Sherly. You knew I care about your well being.”  
“Yes, Captain. I am grateful.” Sherlock was a bit disappointed but also at the same time felt cherished,” Will you take me when I am recovered?”  
“We will see.” John caressed his dark curls, murmured.


	6. Chapter 6

A week passed evenly.  
John went to work happily and came home in a more pleasant mood. He mentioned a woman named Sarah several times, Sherlock didn't like the way John talked about her and John still didn't collar him.He began to worry where he had done wrong that John might not want to keep him. Though he was sure John won't return him to the Dispatch center, he could still sell him to any random master. No, he wouldn't let go without a fight. He liked John, he wanted to serve him. Maybe he could try to seduce his Captain tonight. He must be clever about it not like last time, total disaster. 

"Got you a present, Sherly." John handed him a smart phone,"you are free to use it for text or phone call. I already put my number in."  
"Thank you, Captain."He curled up against John's leg, fondling with the new toy.

 _Miss you—SH_

Beep.  
John checked his new message, chuckled, "I am right here, Sherly. I miss you too."

_No, you didn't know how much I have missed you. I spent all day staring at the ceiling, couldn't think of anything but you._

Later that night, lying on their bed, Sherlock nuzzled against the side of John's neck, " How is your work today, Captain?"  
John couldn't help laughing a lit," Small talk, Sherly, really?"  
His cheek heated, he was rubbish at seduction, he was a bed slave, he was supposed to be used on master's desire or whim. He was never trained to seduce anyone. To his old masters, all he needed to do was to offer his bare arse for them to fuck.

"Okay, I got it. You got questions. Well, shoot."  
"Why don't you fuck me yet, Captain?"  
"What did I say before?"  
"I am healed, you examine me every night, Captain. "  
" All at good times, Sherly. "  
"Is it because I flinched when you probed into me? I am not in pain anymore, I am just...nervous. Please forgive me, Captain."  
"No rush there, Sherly. Relax."  
" Captain, I knew you have needs, I can't be more grateful for your kind consideration, but why don't you use my another hole? You only let me service you once and I was the one initiated it. "Do you detest me? Was that pity sex?  
"Sherly," John's warm voice suddenly turned to a stern tone, touching his luscious lips, " I shall punish you for degrading the prettiest thing I've ever seen as just another hole."  
Hearing the word "punish", Sherlock wasting no time to get up, offering his whole naked body at John's mercy. He didn't fully take in what John just said. 

John didn't move a single finger. Just looking at him, on the duvet, naked, shapely body quietly waiting, no wonder his old master liked to leave marks on him. He was as beautiful as original sin. 

John pulled him down into a passionate kiss. Sherlock was astonished at the sudden attack, he passively opened his mouth to let John push his tongue in, teasing him all over. John is a hell good kisser. 

Minutes later, John pulled away.  
Panting and shaking, Sherlock almost fainted. 

"Cap...Captain, What was that? I can't breath."  
"That. Was. Your. Punishment. "

Sherlock was too overwhelmed to form a word by the novel sensation. He was never been kissed before, not to mention been kissed like this before. He was sure he was half hard now.Oh, the things you did to me, Captain.  
John sm


	7. Chapter 7

_Ceiling got a little damp—SH_  
 **I’ll see to it later.**  
 _Mrs. Hudson went out. Probably seeing her new boyfriend.—SH_  
 _She shouldn’t—SH_  
 _He cheated on her—SH_  
 _Should I tell her?—SH_  
 **Hint her might be kinder.**  
 _Why hint? Won’t it be more efficient if we just tell her?—SH ___

___His phone went silent for ten minutes.  
 _Did I say something wrong? I am sorry, Captain.—SH_  
 **Just got caught up by a patient, sorry. People get hurt when their beloved ones betray them.**  
 _Do you have a beloved one, Captain?—SH__  
His phone went silent again. 

___John didn’t reply until late afternoon._  
 **What would you like for dinner?**  
Response came in immediately.  
 _Dumplings, Captain.—SH_  
Okay. 

__At night, Sherlock curled up against John’s leg, resting his head on John’s thigh while John was one hand typing his blog, one hand stroking his dark curly hair._ _

__It was too easy to wrap up in their private bubble, peaceful, cozy and yet vulnerable._ _

__Several days later, John didn’t come home after work. He asked Mrs. Hudson to take care of Sherlock for a while._ _

__In the midnight, John came back home. He turned on the lights, found Sherlock lying on the sofa, curled up into a heartbreaking ball. He quickly kicked off his shoes and went over to him, “Why don’t you sleep on the bed, Sherly?”_ _

__“You weren’t there, I don’t have your permission.” You weren’t there. The bed was too big and too empty. I don’t want to sleep alone._ _

__“Silly. You don’t have to wait for me to give you permission. You can sleep on that bed anytime you like. Fully granted.”_ _

__Perfume. Light lip stick mark. He didn’t smell like sex. First date, probably. He wouldn’t dream he can keep Captain John to him forever. But this, this was too quick. How soon he would have a hostess to order him around? To put him on floor again? Even urge John to sell him?_ _

___“Oh, dear. What’s wrong? Why are you crying, Sherly?” John hold him, letting him wedge into his crook of arm._  
“You…you are late. The darkness…Victor…need you…”He was babbling.  
“I am sorry. I am sorry. It’s my fault. There. There.” Soothing him, John felt extremely guilty about his decision today. 

__Sherlock became very clingy since that day. John felt like he got himself a tail called little Sherly. He ran a hand though his hair, he needed to talk to someone._ _

__“Maybe you should let him out sometimes. Fresh air will do him some good.” Mrs. Hudson suggested.  
He had thought about it before but he worried about Sherlock’s safety. But Mrs. Hudson was right. Sherlock must be bored, he was smart, he could develop a hobby or something, which might cheer him up._ _

___“Sherly! I am…home.” Before he could finish his sentence, he was already wrapped by an octopus, ”o..kay, what an enthusiastic welcome.”_  
He pecked kisses on his each cheek,” Just let me put our dinner on the table, all right?”  
“You are five minutes later than usual, Captain.” Sherlock muttered.  
“I stopped by Mrs. Hudson’s and bring you her home-made biscuit. thought you might enjoy something different besides dumplings.”  
“Oh, thank you, Captain.”  
\------------------------------------------------------------------- 

__“Sherly, “ John drumming his fingers on the table, “ I knew this might make you uncomfortable, but would you mind telling me about your past? You see, I knew you can read and write, understand new things much faster than ordinary people, where did you receive the education? Orphanage?”_ _

__“As long as my story didn’t bore you, Captain. “ He snuggled into John, slowly began to tell, “Orphanage didn’t have much resources. Occasionally sisters from nearby Church will come to teach us some basic reading. Then the war was coming, most orphans were sold to slavery, I was one of them. I was trained in a slave camp. Slave market was sluggish during the wartime, I was too young to serve as bed slave. So I was kept there for 3 years. Then my first buyer came by, Lady Martha, late in her sixties…”_ _

__John looked horrid._ _

__“Oh, please don’t look like that, Captain. Lady Martha was a kind woman, she picked me only for my appearance resembled her lost grandson. She never touched me inappropriately and she even allowed me to attend her grand daughter’s lesson where I was educated for almost two years. I got a violin for Christmas present. She liked to hear me play. Unfortunately she passed away due to severe heart failure. Then her son took me over, by that time, I was 15 and I grew…”_ _

__“Gorgeous.” John added_ _

__“tall…he started to demand my body at his chamber, he was not bad to me actually, but his wife thought he neglected her because of me so she forced him to sell me and I ended up with an idiot master Sebastian, a pompous, self-centered rich man, the words from his mouth was beyond stupidity, handcuffed me to his bed and laughed like an imbecile saying take it slut, every time the same drill. Then there was…victor…”  
Sherlock’s voice trailed off. Misery and fear appeared on his face. _ _

__John realized immediately Victor was the last vicious master Sherlock had. He remembered the name Sherlock mentioned before, “It’s fine we don’t talk about him, Sherly.”_ _

__Sherlock shook his head slightly, even his breath, “ He was a friend of Sebastian, trade two blonde slaves for me. The moment he laid eyes on me, I knew I was in trouble, those predator eyes. I was caged in dungeon the first day he brought me home. He couldn’t wait to try his tools on me, paddles, riding crops, dildos, gags, clamps, cock ring, wooden pony, electric shots, anything. He enjoyed inflicting pain on me, the louder I scream, the more arousal he got. Victor was cruel and ruthless but he was no fool. He discovered I had a special weakness against needles, he was on it at once. One day, after he used needles on me, he impaled me on the wooden pony, hanging my wrists to the ceiling, blindfolded me, saying consider the ride as a treat. I was left there for two days, no food, no water, eventually I passed out. He got furious, dumped me to Dispatch center.” He exhaled a long breath, “There, I met you, Captain.”_ _

__John was clenching and unclenching his fist, he tried his best to suppress the urge to kill someone. He would kill this Victor in the slowest and the most painful way._ _

__He encircled Sherlock in his arms, kissing his temple, “I am sorry you suffered so much, Sherly. “  
“ I have no regrets, Captain. If it wasn’t for Victor, I wouldn’t meet you.” And that’s for one thing in the world I wouldn’t want to miss._ _


	8. Chapter 8

“As much as I enjoy having these lunch dates with you, John. I do wish we could have a proper date.” Sarah bit her lips.

John signed inwardly, one couldn’t avoid the inevitable, “I knew things got a little complicated here. I’ve been thinking how about you come over to my place so we could…you know”

“Having a date at her boyfriend’s flat, great, just every girl’s dream.” Sarah couldn’t hide the sarcasm.

“Come on, Sarah.”

“Right, because you can’t leave your beloved little kitten alone…”

“That’s not fair. He is just…not good at coping with the darkness. He’s been through a lot. I can’t do that to him.”

“John,” Sarah placed her hand on John’s, “ I know you are a good man, you care about him and I have friends with their slave companions, but no one treats them the way you did, maybe you should reconsider your relationship with your kitten. It’s beyond the appropriate limit.”

“ Are you breaking up with me?”

“No, I am just asking you to think it over.”

 

To John’s surprise, Sarah came around later and agreed to give the home date idea a go. She was compromised and god knows how long it would take John to sort all the things out. Besides, she was really into him.

The next day, John hurried home, set the table, lit the candles, displayed the flowers and coaxed Sherlock to stay in their bedroom. Sherlock said nothing just nodded.

“She won’t be here until 7, I got you strawberry cake, come and try this.” John held a plate with a medium-sized cake, smelt delicious. 

That was the picture caught in her eyes when she entered the living room.  
Her boyfriend and his slave companion sat on the sofa, legs touching, her boyfriend was spoon-feeding the brunette boy, with such tenderness and sweetness in his eyes she had never seen. They were so enjoying the moment, neither of them noticed her. 

John’s choice between the two relationships was clear enough. The man was just too blind to see it.

She left quietly, closing the door behind her without making a sound. 

Beep.  
“ Sorry about dinner.”——Sarah

John set his mobile phone aside, signed, “ Woman’s heart is so fickle.” 

“ I am sorry, Captain. It’s her loss.” Sherlock whispered, gazing at John beneath his lashes.

“ Aren’t you sweet, Sherly. Never mind. I am used to it. I guess we could have some red wine and watch some crappy telly, then go to sleep. How’s that？”

Sherlock responded him by a light kiss on his lips. It tasted like strawberry and his own scent. Sherlock’s heart was in his throat, beating loudly in his head. He knew he was over the line. He might get punished. A bed slave was never allowed to initiate any intimate movement without permission.

He must be dreaming. John kissed him back, slowly and gently swirling his tongue in his mouth. 

“Yummy.” John said with a mischievous smile.

Sherlock flushed timidly. He was utterly ruined by this man.


	9. Chapter 9

John kept trying his luck with woman. After Sarah, there was a string of Susan, Mary, Caroline and finally Jane. Jane lasted for nearly two months which gave John a glimpse of hope.

Jane hid her resentment for Sherlock well enough to deceive John. Two months had passed and she thought it was time for her to show Sherlock where his place was. A slave was a slave. He didn’t deserve to be treated like a fucking prince. 

“Make me a cup of tea, Sherlock.” Jane ordered arrogantly, sitting on the sofa, crossing her legs.

Sherlock had an impulse to fight her but he managed to behave, “ How would you like your tea, Madam ?”

“You are the genius, you tell me.” She said with a cruel smile, “ If you get it wrong, you will be punished properly.”

She was picking on him while John was not here. She would find an excuse, any excuse to give him corporal punishment and definitely involving his scream and tears. He knew she wasn’t pleased with him at first sight, just one glance, he already saw her through. She was a good liar, the only reason he didn’t expose her was John seemed happy. He wanted nothing but John’s happiness. 

_You thought you could have your way with me, you were naïve._

“ I didn’t want milk, your fault, now, be a good boy, fetch me the cane.” She said as sipping her tea.

“ Let’s not play games, Madam. Nothing was wrong with the tea. Before you take any actions, it’s my obligation to remind you I am Captain John Watson’s property. Since you are not married to him yet, I’d kindly to warn you Captain doesn’t like his territory being invaded.” His lips set into a hard line. 

“ Shut your big mouth up! How dare you, a dirty whore, to lecture me! Kneel! I won’t let you get away with this lightly.” Jane flared up.

Sherlock squinted at her, dropping down to his knees. He provoked her on purpose, John would be home soon. _Time to say goodbye, Jane._

The cane landed on his back heavily, Sherlock sucked a huge breath to ease the pain. He hasn’t been beaten like this since John took him over. Ten minutes, ten more minutes, John would be home. Hanging on there.

The moment John pushed the front door open, Jane stopped waving the cane, turned back to look at John nervously. As much as she detested Sherlock, deep down, she knew how much John adored him. But she never expected this.

Her boyfriend dropped the bags held in his hand, rushed to Sherlock’s side, gripped the cane, threw it as far as he can. Holding Sherlock to his chest tightly, he snarled at her, “What the hell are you doing?”

“He…He disrespected me. I am just…disciplining him. ” Jane stuttered. 

“You just what!? Beat him? “

“He didn’t know his place!”

“Sherly would never misbehave unless you cornered him. What have you done!? “ 

“I didn’t mean to…It’s all his fault.” Jane shouted.

Sherlock shot an injured glance at John and ducked his head back to his chest, the vulnerable gesture wrenched John’s heart.

“ Enough! What a vicious woman you are! You hurt him.”

“ He is a slave! Not a fucking Barbie Doll! My friends are so right about you. You are fucking in love with your precious fuck doll! God, I can’t believe I’ve been dating you so long. You are insane!”

“ He is a good boy, so good for me and you hurt him like a barbarian that’s all I know. We are done, Jane.” John said in a cold, collected voice.

Jane grabbed her handbag, stormed out of the flat.


	10. Chapter 10

John had been working unnecessary long hours in the clinic recently. He always came home tired with big bags under his eyes. Obviously he wasn’t getting enough sleep. 

_May be he was upset about Jane._ Sherlock thought, feeling slightly guilty of putting on that show, if he hadn’t provoked Jane that hard, she probably wouldn’t be so angry and John wouldn’t defend him then they won’t break up. John would still be happily wrapped up in the bubble. He would take the pain for John, there was nothing he wouldn’t do for him.

Winter was coming, which meant Christmas was coming. Christmas, gifts. 

“Merry Christmas, Sherly.” 

Sherlock was speechless when he opened his present. It was a violin, gracefully lying in the box.

“Can’t afford a Stradivari for you, hope this will do.” John grinned.

“This…”This was why John worked those extra hours in clinic. All for him, to bring him this amazing Christmas gift. 

20 years, 20 years of his life, this was the first time he felt like crying. Not for pain, not for fear, not for loneliness but for happiness.

He swallowed hard, trying desperately to hold back tears, until he was pulled into a warm and tight embrace, “ I’m glad you like it.” Said the voice above his head.

“ Thank you, Captain.” Sherlock sobbed out.

“Play for me, Sherly. I want to hear you play.” John petted the brunette’s head.

Quiet and beautiful music flowed from the finger tips of Sherlock, John sat in the armchair, narrowed his eyes, enjoying the moment. He hadn’t felt this relaxed in month. He didn’t want Sherlock to get bored at home, thought hard for a while and finally came up with the violin idea. Sherlock was a piece of wonder, sometimes he even ridiculously thought may be he could turn rock into gold just by touching them. His previous masters were truly idiots.

The music stopped, an uncertain soft voice hit his ears, “ Captain?”

Oh, shit, he must have dozed off.

“ Am I boring you?” Sherlock dared not to meet John’s eyes. 

“No, no, god, no. Lovely. Everything is lovely.” John flustered.

“I haven’t practiced for a long time. If anything offended you…” Sherlock peered up through his eyelashes.

John hurried cut him off there, “ You played well, marvelous, Sherly. I indulged myself too much in it.” 

“ Captain…” Sherlock opened his mouth again but silenced by the finger pressed to his lips.

“ No more talking, Sherly.” 

John rubbed his face and hesitantly took out a velvet box from his pocket, “ Close your eyes, Sherly .”

Sherlock obeyed and couldn’t help wondering what was in the box.

A cold metal touched his skin, a necklace?

“ Now, open.”

Sherlock glanced down, sucked a deep breath, couldn’t believe what he was looking at. It was John’s dog tags around his neck, newly polished and modified, obviously. The old thin metal thread wasn’t suitable for his ID engraving. 

“ Leather collar may break your delicate skin and you know how much I love Sherly’s porcelain skin.”

Sherlock flushed. He felt like a bride being proposed. He used to think John might never want to collar him. How wrong he was. John was only waiting for the perfect moment. The hollow hole in his chest was filled with sweet honey. He might have a heart attack right now.

“ Make me yours, Captain. You have to. “ His voice was trembling. He couldn’t wait any longer. He had been waiting too achingly long. Make me yours , Captain, and you would be mine. 

John chuckled, “ Pushy. “ 

He extended his hand to Sherlock, “ We will make love tonight, nicely and slowly, and we will wake up together tomorrow, do it all over again, until you beg me to stop. “

 _I would never never ask you to stop, Captain._ Grabbing John’s hand firmly, they drifted to the bedroom, _tonight was going to be my wedding night._


	11. Chapter 11

Sherlock kept John up all night.

Nipping his sweaty back, John panted, “ You have me completely drained off, Sherly.”

 _Then you wouldn’t go after other boys and girls any more. You would be mine and mine alone._ Thought Sherlock, snuggling closer to John, “ I like feeling you inside, Cap…John.”

Last night he addressed John as Captain in bed earned him a light slap on the buttocks. John shook his head at him, “None of that, just John.” A rosary pink rising on his cheeks, “Yes, J…John.”

These days were too surreal to be true. Sherlock felt like floating in the air and looking down at someone who looked exactly like him cuddled by the sandy-blonde man he was crazy about. Was that him? Was this all true not some delusion he had in the dungeon? Would he open his eyes and everything in the sweet dream would shatter into pieces?

NO.NO.NO.

He clutched the dog tags, clinging to life. He wasn’t living in a dream. John caressed his sudden stiffened body, concerned ,”Did I hurt you, Sherly? “

“I barely had a sore muscle, John.” Sherlock sent him a reassuring smile.

"Then I shall consider my job wonderfully done." John said smugly.

With the collar around his neck, now Sherlock could go out without John’s presence. John allowed him to wander off in London streets. He was aimlessly roaming, taking in everything, fresh and exciting. Bed slaves rarely got the chance to go out, most of them were chained to their master’s bed or worse locked in dungeon. He bought a cup of coffee with the pocket money John gave him and the staff didn’t even take him as a slave, he addressed him sir. Most likely due to that he wore the dog tags not a usual form of collar. He secretly felt grateful.

By the time John got home, he was surprised at the tempting smell of bakery. Did Sherly make it? He never stopped to amaze him. 

Sherlock greeted him with a smile, knowing exactly what John was about to ask, “ No, I didn’t make those. A kind old lady gave them to me as a thank-you gift plus 50 pounds.” He put the money on the table. 

“What? Why?” John confused.

“I found her missing rabbit. Clearly her neighbor’s ten-year old son grew an obsession with the rabbit, stole it and hid in his closet. Not clever.” Sherlock described the whole thing like talking about tedious weather.

“ I knew my Sherly can do incredible things.” John praised him proudly.

“It was just a missing rabbit. Nothing impressive. An infant could have found it, Captain.” Sherlock snorted. In a split second, Sherlock realized he has no right to talk in this almost arrogant tone with John. John had given him too much freedom and he got a little bit of carried away. 

Instead of being offended, John seemed amused, “ Well，if an infant could have found it, then we grown-ups must sharpen our brain harder or we will be outsmarted by babies. Can’t let that happen, can we?”

Sherlock’s lips twitched with amusement. How come this man makes him love him deeper everyday.


	12. Chapter 12

“What do you plan to do with those things?” John checked the suspicious samples on the kitchen table along with a set of Chemistry equipment. 

“Analyze.”

Sherlock had spent lots of time in the library and picked up a new interest--experiment. John didn’t stick his nose into it, on the contrary, he was curious and sometimes even offered to help. 

Sherlock was pretty content with his life, he didn’t have to miss John all the time when he was busy working in the clinic, he had himself substantially occupied. Until one day, he blew up the microwave and made the kitchen a disastrous mess. That’s when he learned nice Captain John had a temper.

“What the hell is going on here? Did you build a nuclear bomb?” Took in the scene of the kitchen, John lost it.

“I am sorry, Captain.” Sherlock bowed his head, he was so in trouble. He was definitely going to get punished by this and to be fair, he deserved it.

“Are you hurt?” John examined him up and down.

“No, Captain.” Sherlock muttered.

“Good.” John gave him a small nod, “ Get this cleaned up and meet me in living room later.”

“Yes, Captain.” Sherlock’s head was reeling. What punishment he was going to get? Caning? Whipping? Maybe Spanking? Spanking was actually good, with John’s warm, firm hand on his skin, it was intimate. 

Kneeling in front of John, with his hands clasped behind his back, anxious and nervous, eye to the floor, he couldn’t help fidgeting.

“Keep still.” John broke the silence, in a tone sending chills down to Sherlock’s spine.

“Sorry, Captain.” 

“ Are you?” John raised an eyebrow.

“ Yes, Captain.”

“ Then tell me what are you sorry for?”

“ For blowing up your microwave.”

“And?”

“And ruined the kitchen?” Sherlock replied uncertainly.

“ That’s all?”

Now Sherlock looked really puzzled. 

John tilted his head, face unreadable, “ You really have no clue, haven’t you ?”

Panic hit his stomach, _what else could it be, think, Sherlock, think._ Sherlock twisted his hands relentlessly.

“ Don’t get up until you have the right answer for me.” John cleared his throat, rose up from the chair, put on his jacket and darted out of door.

Oh, this was looking bad. 

Don’t leave me. Please. 

_You fucked up, Sherlock. If you couldn’t came up with the answer John wanted, he would leave you. Think. Use your rotten brain. What did you miss? Evidence was all in the dustbin. Evidence? No, No. This wasn’t about the mess you made. What was John’s question? What else? Other than the microwave and damaged kitchen._

_Oh, oh, how could he be that oblivious. How could he be that stupid._

_It was his well being John concerned. John was worried about the explosion might hurt him. Sweet sweet John._

“ Did you figure it out ?” 

The sudden voice made Sherlock nearly jumped. How long had John been outside? Half an hour, may be? Or longer? 

“Yes, Captain.” 

“Go ahead, tell me.”

“ I would be more careful next time sparing you worry about my safety. I’m truly sorry, Captain.” Sherlock lifted his head, locking eyes with John. 

“ Good, though I thought you could put it in a better way, I’m relieved you got the point.” John’s face softened, “ but you still deserve a punishment, Sherly.”

Sherlock’s shoulder tensed immediately. Judging by John’s seriousness, the punishment might make him unable to sit straight several days, probably a week, which he was fine with it. It was John. John’s punishment and it was for a good reason.

“ You will be banned to try any experiment in a month.” John bit his tongue, tried very hard to suppress a chuckle.

Sherlock’s face was priceless, stunned and miserable. 

Oh, only his clever Captain knew how to strike his weakest point. Bugger. One month.


	13. Chapter 13

Background: John and Lestrade are rugby buddies.

“Hello, mate. What’s up?”  
“Well, I don’t know how to break this to you. But did you own a slave called Sherlock?”  
“Uh, yes. Sorry didn’t mention him to you.”  
“He is here. With me.”  
“What do you mean he is with you? Is he in trouble?”  
“Sort of. or more than a little. He barged into my crime scene, insulted my team and now in custody. I’m afraid you have to come down here. “  
“Thanks for informing me. I’ll be right there.”

 

“Thank God, you are finally here. He is throwing tantrum at my office like a maniac. Accusing us of letting the murderer get away.”  
“What murderer?”  
“Long story.”

 

“Sherly.” John called out as approaching his little troublemaker.  
Lestrade never saw a person could change his expression that fast. The sulky boy turned from a pissed off kitten to a spooked Bambi in no minute. He sat on the guest chair, looking absolutely innocent and scared.  
“Captain.” He mumbled in a low voice, buried his head against John’s Chest as if seeking for protection.  
“All right. All right. Sherly. It’s okay. It’s okay now. Nobody’s gonna hurt you.” John cooed to him.

Well, this was a turn-up. Lestrade run a hand through his silver hair. The little shit was a hell gifted actor and John didn’t even notice he was being thoroughly manipulated.

“John, I need to talk to you.”  
John hesitated, Sherlock still clung to him desperately.  
Lestrade signed, “He’ll be fine.”

John combed Sherlock’s hair for a while, pecked a kiss on top of his head, “I ‘ll be right back. Be a good boy for me. Okay?”  
Sherlock reluctantly let go, nodded.

They both made exit of the door. Lestrade looking at John, eyes brimming with concern, which made John confused.  
“How bad?”John asked.

“How long did you own him?”

“About half a year. Does this has anything to do with his punishment?”

“Punishment ?Oh, that. I wasn’t talking about that. We’ll get to that later. I mean how well do you know your…pet.”

“He is clever and adorable, sometimes make absurd mistakes but all in all, I adore him.”

“You spoiled him.”

“Can’t deny that. But he didn’t have a pleasant past, I want to make it up to him for someone that young and brilliant.”

“I see the problems here. It’s not him, it’s you.”  
“I’m sorry I don’t follow.”

“You’re the reason encouraged him waltz into my crime scene as if he owned it. For god’s sake, he didn’t even wear a proper collar, most of my team didn’t realize he is a slave at the beginning. It was sergeant Donovan noticed your dog tags around his neck reminding us.”

“There is no law regulate what proper form of a collar should be.”

“You’re missing the point.”

“Did he do this to you? Taking advantage of your kindness and manipulate you secretly all the time? Cause the way he behave around you is a hell different from he did at the crime scene.”

“How different exactly?” John folded his arms, sounding sternly. Manipulate him? He could never be that dumb, or could he? Sherly is no ordinary.

“I have a footage here. See it yourself. I won’t impose any judgement.”

There was his Sherly, looking like a King without crown. He gestured wildly, talked like a machine gun. His coat whirl around as if he was dancing. John was astonished as those officers at the crime scene.

Lestrade clicked to stop the video, “I think the answer is clear and loud.”

The silence in the room stretched and stretched, until John spoke, “Did you catch the murderer?”

Lestrade paused, that’s not the reaction he reckoned on, “Y...es, he was right. We did miss something. I’ll give him the credit. But that’s where I want to warn you. Keeping a pet that clever, you don’t know when he might turn it against you.”

“I can live with that risk.” John said casually, “When can I take him home ?”

Lestrade gazed at him, trying to talk some sense into him but failed miserably. That man sometimes could be as stubborn as a stone.

“He is a slave. He has no right to interfere police business. Donovan has reported him in the system. It’s too late to make it go away. Sorry I didn’t know he is yours earlier. I’m afraid he has to receive ten lashes before you take him home.”

“He helped you catch a murderer and his reward is to be whipped harshly? “John couldn’t hide his anger in the tone.

“I’m sorry, mate. The laws are the laws.” Lestrade patted his shoulder sympathetically.  
“What if I took it for him?” John asked.

Lestrade couldn’t believe his ears, “ Are you crazy ?”

John simply shrugged, “ The stupid system isn’t working…”

“And you decided to give the fairness you think he deserves!? John, I’m saying this as your friend, he is a slave, you are kind enough to let him wander freely, but this, you’ll make the front page tomorrow! A master take punishment for his slave!” Lestrade basically was shouting.

“Can I?” was the only response Lestrade managed to extract from his friend.

He stared at John for a moment, searching for any clue to stop the madness. Finally, he gave up, covered his forehead with one hand, “Take him home, come down here tomorrow. I ‘ll ask the executor to go easy.”

“Ta, mate. I owe you big. “ John grinned.

“You’re mad, you know. “ Lestrade signed, waved his hand dismissively.


	14. Chapter 14

John remained silent all his way home. He smiled dryly to greet Mrs. Hudson at the front door. 

Sherlock worried sick about the situation. It seemed all fine. John had taken care of everything but it wouldn’t take a genius to smell something was awfully wrong. John had been quiet and he hated that. John didn’t scold him, but in the corner of his eyes, he noticed John staring at his collar while he thought he couldn’t see him. _John wanted to take it back? No. No. No. John could ground him, more than a month, couple of months maybe, or no matter how long he wished. Just don’t take the collar which symbolized he belonged to someone. He had a place to come home to. He had learned a new life with John, it would kill him to smash him back. He wouldn’t last a day._

John’s drifted in his thought. His brain was swimming. The images of Sherlock at crime scene kept flashing back. What an amazing creature! He practically glowing there and he would be so selfish to keep him to himself. He helped the yard to catch a murderer, if it wasn’t for his slave identity, he would be worshiped as a hero not an inappropriate troublemaker. Set him free. The thought crawled into his mind in no where. Set him free. But as a freeman, why would Sherlock want to live with him anymore? Why would Sherlock even give him a second look? Plain, boring, ordinary John Watson. It hurt so much, his throat went dry, his eyes felt funny. He was unable to meet Sherlock in the eye. His facial expression would give him away immediately. Sherlock could read people, he’d seen him done this too many times. He retreated to the study upstairs, really needing some time alone.

Sherlock sat on the floor, draw up to his knees, hands unconsciously tugging the dog tags, wondering how come he can never repress his nature to preserve something he was longing for. He was too excellent at ruining good things happened to him. Maybe Victor was right, he should be chained in the dungeon or in the master’s bed. At least, he wouldn’t have to suffer the invisible pain in his chest that made him want to vomit.

A warm hand touched his shoulder, “ Why are you down here?” 

Sherlock looked up, “Thinking.”

“ Any particular thoughts to share?” There was an odd tone in John’s voice and Sherlock had no idea how to interpret it.

“ The detective told or showed you something which made you upset, I believe it must have something to do with my behavior at the crime scene, you had seen my nature now, Captain, real me, a hopeless, wayward slave, causing nothing but trouble to you, You haven’t spoke to me until just now, I knew I must have let you down again. You had enough of me, Captain.’ Sherlock said bitterly.

“ Sherly, my dear Sherly, you thoughts run too wild, I have to pull you back from there.” Wrapping one arm around him, pouncing on what Sherlock just said, John run the thumb down his cheek and across his lower plush lip, “ For someone so clever, you can be unbelievably thick sometimes.”

“ I never thanked you properly for being such a kind soul in my life, Captain. I’m in your debt forever even I’m not worth of any of that. These days with you has been the brightest and happiest day in my life, you like the sun, shining upon me, keeping me warm and cozy. But I do understand the sun has to set one day…”Sherlock’s voice trailed off, he gathered all his strength trying to make him sound less pathetic, which just proved again expressing emotion never being his thing. 

Silence fell upon between them again, then John said slowly, “ If either of us gets to be the sun, it’s definitely you not me.” 

“ What?” Sherlock responded, sounding dazed.

“ You think you need me but the truth is the other way around, Sherly, I. need. you. Remember that day I picked you up from the dispatch center? That was one of my darkest days back in London, I was invalid home not for long, everyone I met took pity on me within five minutes for my gunshot wound, I felt useless and bored to death, everything sweeping by was colorless and lifeless. And I got a call from the dispatch center one day, then a miracle happened.”

“ You picked me because your caretaker tendency, Captain. I was the most damaged one among the three.” Sherlock interrupted.

“No. I picked you because even you were so seriously hurt you still looked like didn’t have a care in the world. I envy you and I need you desperately. “ John’s chest heaved, holding Sherlock tighter, “ you didn’t know how nervous I was to bring you home, I was the damaged one, Sherly, I was so afraid you were going to mock me inwardly, how come this man get to be my master, look at his ridiculous limp and don’t even mention the wound in his shoulder, how was he suppose to handle me, he couldn’t pull himself together in the first place.”

“ Captain…” 

“ Ssh, Sherly, let me finish, Iet me get this out, I could be embarrassed to death tomorrow. “ John muttered.

Sherlock leaned forward, wrapped his arms around John’s waist. His captain needed him, then he would be there, to support him. 

“ To my surprise, you trusted me completely, let me take care of you, never being picky about anything I’ve given to you and you shared your unpleasant past with me, kept me warm at night. I felt alive again. I could function again. All because of you. And…one day, you started to conduct those experiments, solving puzzles, you never stop amazing me. Everyday with you is an adventure. “ John took a deep breath, paused and continued, “ What I saw today was extraordinary and I suddenly realized how selfish was I to keep you to myself. You could be so much help to the society , to those people who need your talent. Instead you are unfortunately tied to me, tedious, not much use, ex army doctor, who couldn’t even perform the simplest surgery anymore. “

John swallowed hard, tears pricking his eyes. He rested his head on Sherlock’s shoulder, soaking tears to his dressing gown.

“ You want to set me free.” Sherlock said evenly.

“ I’m…I’m sorry. I wish I could. I…I just couldn’t do it. I am a terrible person, I know. I love you too much to let you go, Sherly. I’m so sorry.” 

“You what!?” Sherlock widened his eyes, “You…you love me? Captain? Nobody loves me, Captain.”

_Oh, God, did he just said it out loud. Well, he did love Sherlock, he wasn’t ashamed of anything. He was in love with his slave companion and he hid it like a coward he used to despise. Now it was on the table, be a man, admitted it. If Sherlock turned him down, well, he was used to rejection, though this time definitely was going to hurt like hell and he might need therapy to help him recover._

“ I love you, Sherly, as a lover, not a master. I fell for you a long time ago, you are the most beautiful, incredible and unbelievable human being I’ve ever encountered. I was drawn to you at first sight. I made love to you with respect. I knew I might not have a chance if you were a freeman, please forgive me to take advantage of our current state, but would you be my lover, Sherlock?” 

The question hanging in the air, Sherlock didn’t respond.

John almost gave up, heartbroken, trying to pull away from Sherlock’s embrace.

“Say that again.” Sherlock said.

“ Would you be my lover?”

“ Not that. Before.”

“ I said a lot of things, I don’t have an unbeatable memory like you. “John half-hearted mumbled, 

“ You said you love me, Captain.”

“Oh, yes, I love you, Sherlock. I know I’m not good enough for you. But I won’t lie to you or myself anymore, I love you, I’m hopelessly and helplessly in love with you. It’s fine you don’t want me, it’s all fine.” John said in a croaked voice.

**Three times. John said I love you three times.**

“ Only an idiot doesn’t want you and according to an honored discharged Captain I am some kind of a genius, what do you think my answer will be?” Sherlock smirked.

“ You are saying Yes to me?” Having his hope dashed seconds before, it was a bit hard for John to come back to himself.

“ I could say millions times, yes, yes, yes…” Sherlock pressed his lips against John’s mouth, it turned into an erotic tongue dance immediately. 

Licking his swollen lips, John felt he couldn't be more content with his life.


	15. Chapter 15

John held his breath, did his best to stay in his happy place, _you can do this, solider._

Ten lashes. 

His back was burning on fire. But it was at least not worse than the gunshot. His life was not in danger and he had a smoking hot lover at home waiting for him, so much to looking forward to. 

“You know most people don’t feel so cheerful after being whipped.” Lestrade shook his head.

“ I’m in miserable pain, mate, stop teasing me.” John moaned.

“Oh, the smile around your corner of eyes is so convincing.” Lestrade said sarcastically.

“ Come on, you knew me. Let’s have a pint after you off duty.” 

“ I don’t think a pint is a good idea. You need to go home, have some rest, get your back taken care of.” 

“Nah, can’t go home now. Sherly would freak out.”

“You are bloody crazy in love, aren’t you?”

“Yeah.”

“Seriously? I was joking.”

“I’m not. I love him.”

“You do know he is yours. You can have your way with him anytime you want and that doesn’t include receiving lashes for him right?”

“Be a man can’t protect his lover and a coward who dare not to stand up for justice? Do I appear to be that kind of person to you?”

“ Not a coward but a mad man? Yeah. A lover? What is your next plan? A wedding? Oh, wait, I remember laws forbid that.”

“ Come on, give me a break. I got go to the clinic to get clean up and grab some medicine and I plan to crash on your sofa tonight. Can’t let Sherly see me like this.”

Lestrade signed heavily, “ Whatever. See you later, Saint.”

 

Sarah glared at him, John wished he could shrink to an invisible thumb-man under her gaze.

“I’m not going to ask how you got these, but if you show up again like this without a reasonable explanation. I ‘ll kick your ass first.”

“Aye, Your Majesty.” John attempted to joke away only earned a slap on his shoulder. 

John flinched.

Sarah gave him a stern look, “ That’s what a man does stupid things deserve.”

John couldn’t form a word only smiled dryly. 

 

Beep.  
“ Running late at work. Don’t wait up. XOXO”—JW

“What does XOXO mean, my new nickname?”—SH

“Kisses and hugs.”—JW

“Oh.”—SH

“I prefer to kiss and hug in person.”—SH

John couldn’t stifle a chuckle.

“And they say romance is dead.”—JW

“Will you be gone all night?”—SH

“Probably.”—JW

“ I miss you.”—SH

“Me too, love. Leave the lights on. ”—JW

John hadn’t forgotten Sherlock wasn’t comfortable with darkness.

He collapsed on Lestrade sofa, lost in thought. There was only slight chance he could hide this from Sherlock’s sharp eyes and he couldn’t avoid Sherlock too long. In fact, Sherlock could have already being suspicious. 

God, he was too tired to think straight and drifted into sleep.


	16. Chapter 16

Try to distract Sherlock by ravishing him was a shitty idea, John had to admit that later. Sherlock cocked his head and lifted one eyebrow, “ Am I that naïve, Captain?”   
Well, without taking off their shirts, they had heated sex seconds ago and that doesn’t distract Sherlock at all.  
“Shame. I thought I had more influence on you.” John sighed, still a little dizzy.  
“ Usually you do, but not today. You are acting oddly, too eager and too aggressive for no particular reason.”  
“Can’t I just be happy to shag my lover after long boring work hours?”  
“Then you would at least drag me to the bedroom not just pin me straight on the sofa and you avoided my touching, I almost thought you changed your mind.”  
“That’s not true. I love you touching me. “ John sensed Sherlock’s skepticism.  
There was a pause.  
“ And I noticed you didn’t actually avoid me, you only avoided me touching your back, so please unveil your mysterious upper body to me, Captain. You didn’t come home yesterday for a reason.”  
John looked at his lover, covered one hand over his forehead,” You won’t let this go, will you?”  
Sherlock only stared at him with silent persistence.  
“Okay, but you have to promise me you won’t make a fuss about it.”  
“Just. Do. it.”   
“Bossy.” John made a face.

Those scars on John’s back stabbed into Sherlock’s eyes like sharp knife. He immediately had the whole picture of everything. He was a bloody idiot to think those imbeciles would let him walk away that easily. 

“You took it for me.” Sherlock said in a restrained tone, stating the fact. He remained a rigid face, but his heart was roaring with sorrow, pain, and something else he failed to describe.  
“Uh, sort of. Anyway, it’s not important. Can’t we go back to what we just did before?”  
“Shifting subject. You have to polish that skill, John.”  
“As I said, it’s not important. Please just drop it.”  
“Why?”  
“Because I want to protect my lover? Not a good enough reason?” John still tried to handle this casually.  
“And I only cause trouble in return for your love. Fantastic.”   
“Stop it.” John shook his head, “ Listen, it’s not your fault. Just stop it.”  
“I am the one who broke the law. It should be me to receive the punishment. Me! I knew what I was doing. I didn’t fear the consequence. I’m used to it.” He paused, gently reaching for John’s back, “ But I’m not used to this.”  
“Well, I don’t plan to do this often.” John said with a chuckle, “ And this is my way to protest the stupid law.”  
“You do know you are a master after all, right?”  
“Yes, but don’t you forget, before that I am your lover, partner, anything you wish me to be.”  
“How could I forget.” Sherlock murmured, tracing those scars with his fingers, ”These…these are my scars. “


End file.
